She got her daughters and his nani to tell him what to do so she doenst look like the erson who is controlling. Ustadha Raidah Shah Idilhas spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafii fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. Read surah an nisa tafseer, she is not your sister, read surah an noor tafseer to understand she is not your sister. Should the alternative hypothesis always be the research hypothesis? Home Shafi'i Fiqh Seekersguidance.org What Do I Do About My Provocative Sister-In-Law, Whom I Live With? Unfortunately the above advice that you have given me I have tried before. Whats the Punishment of Committing Suicide? Spend more quality time with you family and avoid being alone. Under Quran and Sharia law, the following are the prescribed shares which pass after the death of a male. 29 views, 2 likes, 0 loves, 2 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Cookeville Free Will Baptist Church: Do You Believe? Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. If there is any mistake I seek your forgiveness and forgiveness from Allah. The Prayer of Need (Salat al-Hajah) or Istikhara? I dont spend no time with my husband only when i pick him from work for five mins journey. Maintain the Adab (etiquettes) of Islam with your sister- and brother-in-laws (i.e.no hugging or kissing). Whatever meets her needs is sufficient, such as a room in good condition with a kitchen and bathroom unless the wife has stipulated larger accommodation in her marriage contract. All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. Source: Tell her to not contact you again, block and delete her telephone number from your phone. Allaah is the One Whom we ask to set all our affairs straight. This means that everyone usually gets along and that you support each other when things get tough. I wanted to be noticed just for a moment. Marc Calleja Lopez/fizkes/Getty. I didn't like the idea of . (Remainder of question deleted by Editor). As Salaam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah my dear brother in Islam. Go for a walk, swimming, running, etc. I said, "Marry her." May Allah make it easy for you. I pray Allah swt keeps you guided and blesses your family with utmost imaan and happiness, ameen. Therefore, avoid being alone or mixing with the sisters of your wife since it is forbidden and results in bad consequences. Value yourself. They should also beware of those who call them to commit sin. Views : Allah, the Most Merciful, wants from you to have the best manners in both situations. marry." The Hadeeth: A wife should not go out in front of the brother-in-law or be alone with him in the house, because the Prophet (saw) said: "Beware of entering upon women. So it's best to stop it at the initial stage. The Prophet () said, By clicking Accept all cookies, you agree Stack Exchange can store cookies on your device and disclose information in accordance with our Cookie Policy. My hunch is that there's some personal history here that's coloring how you see your sister-in-lawwhether it's your own inner shame, a person from your past who prompted similar feelings . He created us to worship Him alone; therefore, it is an act of worship to know how to deal with people in your life. What does islam role says on this. Her husband has also passed. What can I do? Death will come to each and every one of us; however there are things we can do to make our . They should be strong in adhering to the truth and confront those who stand in the way of their implementing the laws of Allaah in their homes, because the Muslim does not acknowledge any authority over him except the Quraan and Sunnah. Email: We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. Can I masturbate after marriage if I'm not satisfied with my wife? These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. But things will change inshAllah after some times. "What shall I do (with her)?" The Glorified Allah commands: As you did not say that your marriage with your wife was arranged and/or forced one, I assume you have many reasons you married your wife. Allah (swt) says in the Quran: Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: two sisters in wedlock at the same time, except for what has already passed (4:23). Even if you dont feel like eating, you should make eating habits for yourself. And suicide is not an option at all, as I mentioned above. (c)Al-Kaasaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If a husband wants to make her live with a co-wife or her in-laws, such as his mother or sister or daughter from another marriage or anotherrelative, and she refuses to accept that, then he has to provide her with accommodation of her own But if he lodges her in a room of the house that has a door of its own, this is sufficient for her and she should not ask him for alternative accommodation, because the harm caused by fear for her belongings and not being able to relax is no longer there. Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5232; Muslim, 2172. What screws can be used with Aluminum windows? You do not have to ask permission from any of them to visit your family; that is not their right. She was really cruel with them on occasions, while she shows her nicer side to other nephews. Imam al-Haskafi states in Durr al-Mukhtar: "It is necessary for the husband to provide the wife with a shelter (home . I find in many families parents overstep their limits in finding a spouse for their child. It is not permissible for her to be alone with any of her in-laws except those who are so young that there is no fear that they will tempt her or be tempted by her. Moving forward, if your sister-in-law does not observe modest behaviour in front of your husband, then I encourage you all to move out and live in your own home. I will try my best to advise you the best I can, In sha Allah. This means under Muslim law, the legal right to inheritance of property arises only upon the death of the deceased and not upon the birth of the child. IslamicAnswers.com Staff Photo Gallery. [duplicate]. I am in the same predicament as you. Questions cannot be asked through this form. This is like when our children think that we as parents are harsher than uncles or so, because all they see from the uncles are the occasional visits that are full of smiles and gifts, etc. If they both agree (to live together in one house), this is permissible because they have the right to do to ask for independent accommodation, or they may choose to forgo this right. Having a less-common name has been shown to have a . But the big question is - Financialy are your'll able to stay on your own.? If so, then it is not permissible to be married to them both at the same time because they are sisters. It seems as if you are not what your mother-in-law envisaged in a daughter in law. It is no surprise that your wife is upset about this and that her family is not supporting you in this decision of yours. Everything that happens in our lives is by the Wisdom of Allah. Something may happen to his parents which requires their son to visit them a great deal, such as sickness and the like. Our advice to husbands is that they should honour their parents with regard to that which is right and proper, but they should not obey them if they transgress the limits set by Allaah, or help them in wrongdoing, which includes mistreating their sons wives. As AbdAllah brother already beautifully described, try to follow his advice. In such matters she has to obey, whether that comes from a relative or a stranger, an in-law or anyone else. This is incorrect. IslamicAnswers.com Staff Photo Gallery. Normally she has already spoken to him and said bad things about me to which he shouts at me. Rest depends upon the residue of what amount of property is left and the relatives alive to inherit. //]]>, Join our e-mail list for regular site news and updates, All Rights Reserved for Islam Q&A 1997-2023. Islamic inheritance law in Pakistan defines blood relatives as legal heirs. If you and your sister-in-law do not come under any prohibited relationship you can marry her after getting divorce from her husband. Islamic law varies by country, is influenced by local customs, and evolves over time. Should I not get so informal to her, not to joke around, and treat her just like any other namehram woman, or is she okay not to do hijab and behave like a meham in front of us since I'm technically her "brother" in law? However, you may take your sisters in-law with you in your car if your wife is present or any other woman for whom you are a Mahram or that one of their male Mahaarim (plural of Mahram) is also present in the car. As long as he gives his mother attention 24-7 and he giver her relatives attention and does things for them then she is happy. I am a very family orientated person but our ideas of what family is completely differ. OMG!!! Forgetting someone takes time. If he is able to provide you with accommodation that is completely separate from his family, that will be better for you, but if his parents are elderly and need him, and they have no one else to serve them and the only way he can serve them is by living with them, then he has to do that. You could stiil go visit whilst staying seperately. She took him to a doctors appt with her for a female thing. have (my sister) the daughter of Abu Sufyan?" Hadia Ali is a 27 years old Pakistani Muslim woman, born and bred in Norway. How can I be a better Muslim? He said, Among the dearest of you to me and those who will be seated closest to me on the Day of Resurrection are those of you who are best in manners. [At-Tirmithi] You come across people who have good manners and others who do not. You have already hurt your wife and broken her trust by going behind her back and having an affair with her sister. In all truth I am extremely insecure because he is the only son with three sisters and everything that they suggest he feels that I must be happy and go along with. Custody of Childrem. Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/493. (al-Mughni, 8/137). These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You must also observe full shari hijab, and be certain that there is no risk of falling into fitnah (temptation). You have a perfect right to feel as you do, by the way, but I just want you to be sure you are aiming your emotions, and your actions, at the right person. like that my sister should share you with me." It's not necessary and potentially rude to ignore them completely. Will Allah Be Angry if I Think of Suicide? What is meant by in-law (hamu) here is the relatives of the husband apart from his father/grandfather and sons/grandsons. I Love My Sister-in-Law & Want to Marry Her. I have done my best to avoid her, not to get so free and behave just formally, but still I think I'm violating some religious boundaries and I feel a little uncomfortable. Honouring and Serving Mother in Law. Is it permissible for parents to force their daughter into marrying a man she doesn't want to marry? It is an Islamic duty to listen to their advice that is not contrary to the religion , take care of their rights, help them when they are in need, visit them and show respect to them like his mother and father. They should discuss with them in a way that is better and not prevent them from obeying Allaah. Go step by step. Create an account, If you do not have an account, you can click the button below to create one, Create new account To simply put things in perspective, you are her non-mahram, you have to follow your hijaab in front of her. arethey not a mother as well? They do not have the right to force you to do any of the things you mention, such as how to cook, how to dress or other things such as working and teaching etc, unless that is by way of advice and kind treatment, not by way of compulsion. The shari'a and teachings of the Prophet (saw) regarding the relationship between brothers and sisters in Islam is vital for creating a spiritually, physically, psychologically, economically and environmentally healthy and stable environment. Its not over til the Trumpet is Blown Sin and Repentance in Islam, The Sin of Fornication and Adultery Part 1, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication Part 2, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication Part 3, He has changed to align with Islam but my father doesnt trust him, His mother wont approve of me because Im not Pakistani, I want to reconcile with my wife, who claims her parents blackmailed her. Managing Conflict: Solvable vs. Perpetual Problems. You should know what your husband think about your situation and which his ideas are for your future together, instead of supposing, because supposing will feed confusion between both of you. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of cookies. Do not forbid your spouse from seeing family unless you fear for their religion and safety. This is a very difficult task, of course, unless you sincerely seek the rewards from Allah. Until this situation improves, what can you do to look after yourself? She is got her own room, she is in her 20 ties, they are looking for boy for her, but still living since many years with them in same house. Your sister-in-laws behaviour is unacceptable. Alec Baldwin wants a "misguided" lawsuit filed against him by Halyna Hutchins' parents and sister to be dismissed because he insisted they had been estranged from the late cinematographer for It is not permissible for them to interfere in your and your husbands private affairs, but if they convince your husband not to go out on trips and he tells you to stay in the house, then obey your husband, and be patient and seek reward. It is a matter of fact that Allah, the Most High, does not waste the deeds of those who do good, and the outcome of good deeds and patience is so great that you would wish that you would do more of it. Allah (swt) has given you a life and you should appreciate it. We should speak well to the slaves of Allaah until we meet Allaah. rev2023.4.17.43393. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. 393688. Is it permissible to watch recorded videos of female teachers, as part of an online course, during Islamic fasting? On another occasion, my brother-in-law arranged a birthday party for her, she cut the cake and fed a piece to my husband. sister in islam replied to Hasib's topic in General Chat. 1. I was finally happy. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. In your case, I would advise you to ignore the bad behavior that you described from your sister-in-law, and react to it to the best of your ability with the best manners. Phim d kin khi chiu mng mt Tt Nguyn n 2023! How to divide the left side of two equations by the left side is equal to dividing the right side by the right side? That would help you to work it out with your husband so that you continue to help your husband to be kind to his relatives. My question is, what if she is a widow and nobody is ready to take responsibility for her? All Praise to Allah Swt and blessings on Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him His family and companions. It would be extremely difficult for you if your husband was taking his sisters side. A kitchen is very hot and humid while cooking and wearing clothes all over is very inconvenient and sometimes risky as well. They do not have the right to know the details of your life (you and your husband), and it is not permissible for your husband to tell them of any private or intimate matters between the two of you. This is a part of the natural progression of life. He is very hurt on this matter, He says he cannot live without his parents, and its hard for me to live with his parents and his younger brother, am i asking too much. tell him, that now that he is married, he needs to form his own family, plan your future and move ahead. And she isn't allowed to be unveiled in front of him. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. From the beginning, she never helped me with the tasks, she comes and goes as she wishes, but she comes at lunch time with everything ready. and please do not worry too much about this problem, it is part of the growing up phase in life..and mind you dear sis, your hubby is not the only one who is such. You are just fine . As a women i think it is sometimes necessary for her to ignore her husband and do the things she enjoys in life, i know when ur in love it is really hard, but polietly request him, just take him outside with you, make plans yourself, make him feel that he wants to be with you alone instead you wanting that. New blog post from our CEO Prashanth: Community is the future of AI, Improving the copy in the close modal and post notices - 2023 edition. brother-in-law of hers. I was also a newlywed (it is Masha'Allah 1and a half years now). but I agreed to stay with his parents since it is only them. Connect and share knowledge within a single location that is structured and easy to search. The thing is she treats her own husband so bad. I'm nearly as same age as her she is few months younger than me. I thought maybe this can work. Is taking a commission from suppliers allowed as long as the company doesnt suffer a loss? 10957. but generally not obviously I.e she wears dupatta you talk , she doesn't you don't that will be very wrong and blunt . Weekend Homework Assignment: Softening Start-Up. Do they have any rights with regard to our work, where we live, education and the like? One cannot expect a family to live without any expense. The worst is that she does not care about her nephews, my children. Please be careful, because one day shaytaan will lead you to commit Zina with her. "Even if she were not my stepdaughter, she should be unlawful for me Have I lost all my good deeds? i cant stop laughing. However, your husband has to look after his mother and father if they are needy. Why do you have to go to kitchen when she is cooking? Islam Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for Muslims, experts in Islam, and those interested in learning more about Islam. I shared my body measurements with a guy online. Mahrams of a woman through marital relationship, Woman Staying Alone in Same House with Brother-in-Law Who Is 15 Years Old, Woman shaking hands with men with disabilities, Religions, Sects and Da'wah (Call to Islam), Jinaayaat (Criminology) and Islamic Judicial System, Islamic Politics and International Affairs, Medical Issues, Media, Culture and Means of Entertainment. Whenever you think about her, remind yourself that you have a wife who loves you and gave you two wonderful children. Can I marry my sister-in-law after my wife's death? Going through depression and feeling ill about yourself must be very difficult for you. Is it okay for a male to playfully slap the bottom of his teenage sister? Fathers/grandfathers and sons/grandsons are mahrams for his wife and it is permissible for them to be alone with her. I pray that Allah grants you and your husband strength to overcome this tribulation together. You may want to take examples of others in your close relatives/friends who have moved out and are still happily married and have harmonious relations with their other families and parents. Why don't objects get brighter when I reflect their light back at them? A woman has come under fire on Reddit for revealing the name of her sister-in-law's baby online to ridicule. Once you have got to know his thoughts, you will have to do the next step, if he has ideas of moving with you alone, good, half of the way done; if not, get ready to prepare the way, try to see why he doesnt want to move, once you know this, you have to act in consequence, trying to see how you can convince him or maybe his reasons are too strong. Mother will not let me become a commerical pilot because I am a girl! Would jingle-shoes go against proper hijab for a young woman? Therefore, avoid being alone or mixing with the sisters of your wife since it is forbidden and results in bad consequences. If there is no other choice, then that is an even more important reason to remain patient. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. This is a very difficult task, of course, unless you sincerely seek the rewards from Allah. (c)Al-Kaasaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If a husband wants to make her live with a co-wife or her in-laws, such as his mother or sister or daughter from another marriage or anotherrelative, and she refuses to accept that, then he has to provide her with accommodation of her own You should not be the cause of a split between him and them. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. I am raising money for my asylee friends family. Indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful. Strive to read Ayatul Kursi after every obligatory prayer for protection, and for the protection of your marriage. By the way, I have tried to talk with her many times, but it is useless. - The Controlling One. We use cookies on IslamQA to measure visitor stats. Be honest with yourself. They also have in-person classes in Canada. Under the Islamic Law, custody is regarded as the right of the child as well as parents especially the mother. Whether she is a widow or you get permission from your wife you are still not allowed to marry her in this situation. Effective communication in a marriage is a learned skill. If the husband thinks that the interests of shareeah dictate that he should keep his wife and his family apart, then there is nothing wrong with him doing that. I have spoken to my husband that we need our alone time together and we need to make our own decisions about stuff like going on holidays together. They said: she does not have the right to ask him for alternative accommodation. Exercise regularly as it makes you feel better about yourself and gives you energy. Committing suicide would be another sin in Islam. What Do I Do? keep on pressing the fact that you love his family, which im sure u do, but that u need to have your own little family. The patriarchal society makes a female's survival impossible without a male, where the latter has complete authority over the former. Manage Conflict: Repair and DeEscalate I agree with Wael, but I see too that if you arent financially able to have your own home, you will have to deal with this in the best way possible. He said, You also need to move out of your in-laws home if you expect your marriage to succeed and thrive. Work together. even my husband would not even listen about shifting, he would not get angry but he would simply change topic or stop talking about it. 5, 2023 at 10:18 PM PDT. Who are the women that a man is forbidden to marry? Should I Cover in Front of my Sisters Husband? It would be good if you spoke to a therapist, counselors or someone professional to help you in your situation. I make supplication that Allah makes it easy, and keeps you all steadfast. I dont know why, but I am feeling depressed and need support. On weekends she will call her son and tell him okay wake up now and come down becuase im awake. we have to do what ver she wants. Islam is much more than a religion; it is a way of life. For more information on the ruling on shaking hands with a non-mahram, see question no. My husband knows, and even he himself has complained to me about her selfish behavior, but he never told her. Try to communicate in a proper manner with your husband and reach an understanding. My Istikhara came out as yes, but I dont like him! Remind yourself that you and your husband are on the same team. Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid, You can ask your question on the website via this link: https://islamqa.info/en/ask, Password should contain small, capital letter and at least 8 characters long, Log in How Can I Judge Rulings that I Do Not Understand? 1. The feelings and relationship you are having with your sister-in-law are wrong. He would be wrong not to maintain his wife and could be prosecuted by law. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Please communicate this to her, calmly and firmly. Finally, we urge you to be patient and to strive to please your husband and to help him to honour and be kind to his family as much as possible until Allaah grants you a way out. Muslim law follows the principle of nemoesthaeresviventis i.e. But one thing must be added about "woman who are haram to marry simultaneously to your wife": they are non-mahram that means a man isn't allowed to look at such a woman (like the sister of the wife) unveiled! like that?" There's no sister-in-law wedding etiquette rule that states that she has to help you with anything relating to your wedding. Instead, start thinking rationally about your situation. Islam is guidance from God that directs us through life, and God willing into the next life. One person he valued was his sister-in-law, now widowed by the war. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Take time and talk to your bride. Living with sister in law 11-02-13, 04:45 PM Salam alaikum, there is wife and husband and her sister which is unmarried living with them. How To Deal With A Sister-In-Law Living In Your House!!! I would like to know about my rights regarding my sister-in-law. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. The Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet have many evidences for us to learn and submit to. She does not show any respect for me and takes every chance to make that clear; for instance, she leaves empty bottles in the middle for me to throw them, or when I have just finished to clean the kitchen, she leaves a glass or a dish in the sink small things maybe, but always one after another. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): and live with them honourably [al-Nisaa 4:19]. 21183. In the name of Allah. Weekend Homework Assignment: Softening Start-Up, Managing Conflict: Solvable vs. Perpetual Problems, A Wifes Right to Housing Separate From Her In-Laws. Your family needs you and you need them, so I suggest that you pray to Allah (swt) and seek help. You are depressed and feeling helpless thats why you are having suicidal thoughts. What I do not understand is why she is living with us instead of with the other brothers though they and their wives do not have the same consideration as we have. What Can She Do? No matter how hard your situation is or whatever hardship you are going through, you should never end your own life or even think about it. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Here's a simple guide to building and maintaining a good relationship with your sister-in-law. Your husband has to honour his parents, and you should help him in that. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
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