Which she stutters, "N-nnno." A dispatcher is working the night shift when he gets a call from a company trucker. A sixteen year-old boy comes home with a brand new Ford F150. See more ideas about truck quotes, trucking humor, trucker quotes. Eventually the truck pulls over. One of our truck financing specialists will contact you as soon as possible to review your commercial truck loan or lease needs and learn more about you and your business financing goals. One time Chuck Norris peed in the radiator of a semi-truck. How can you tell if your wife is cheating on you with a Swift driver? LIKE Progressive Truck School today: http://www.facebook.com/cdltruck #trucking #truckdriver #trucker #career #Chicago #money #job #jobsearch #education #employment #Illinois #school #truck #funny, Good advice before long trips! Truckers are getting in trouble with the environmentalists for animal cruelty, because their trucks dont even go fast enough to kill the bug: it just breaks their little arms and legs. He then went to Kevins car and cut up its leather seats. .arqam-widget-counter li { A police officer sees a truck that speeds up as it passes him. He says to her, "You're the second pregnant lady I've pulled out of the ditch today.". Search. . One day this man had gotten home from work and saw this boy in his neighborhood sitting outside on the sidewalk with a bag of M&Ms and an Alley Cat. } Wow! Its Snow, Roy Snow, he answered, and whats yours? "Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines.". You cant keep these penguins in your truck! The cop said, You need to take them to the zoo!. The officer gets out of his car and comes to talk to the driver. I was a local driver for a while. Why cant truck drivers ever fully retire? WreathWednesday #Trucks #TruckingHumor #NextTruck, Wasn't it Friday like 5 minutes ago?!? Genie: How many lanes you need? The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. There are thousands of truck games online which are dedicated to truck . What was all the noise? he asks the truck driver.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_12',664,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); The trucker replies, Oh, I just hit an Aborigine., The hitch-hiker says, Oh! A homeless man walks into an interview for a truck driver position, the interview goes well. He pulls over by the side of the road. All he could see was a faint light in the distance. "A car's weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel" - Unknown. The only thing that annoys the girl is that the guy isnt much of a risk taker. So this semi trucker got his truck stuck underneath an overpass. As the truck driver was about to start eating , three men in leather jackets pulled up on motorcycles and came inside. After it drives off I realize Ive left my wallet and credit cards in it. she challenged the trucker some miles down the road. The truck driver tells him to lay down in the trucks sleeper compartmentand have a rest. The man is a bit freaked out. } One grabbed the truckers cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. After all, theres no plate like chrome for the hollandaise! One truck driver has created a game for himself to help stave off the boredom. "Without trucks, you would be homeless, hungry, & naked.". Interested in @cdlhumor's Tweets? 2. 7 Trucker Jokes. The truck driver promised to take the penguins to the zoo immediately and drove of. } People Change Drunk Driving Marijuana Pot Pothead Weed 420 Stoner Happy . Learn how your comment data is processed. } .postid-63227 .mejs-controls .mejs-horizontal-volume-slider .mejs-horizontal-volume-total { The majority of drivers are working under stressful conditions, including longer hours, crowded truck stops, difficulties finding food, in addition to health and safety concerns. We now know that truck as Optimus Prime! What did the icy road say to the truck? -moz-transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; The truck driver perplexed asks the guy, "Come on man, I was just joking. The hitchhiker guy stares at the bullfrog for a while, fascinated by the animal, while the truck driver just grins. The nut keeping the steering wheel in place! font-variant: normal; The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. I hate being sexy but I'm a truck driver so I can't help it! The officer turns on his siren and chases the truck, which only makes it speed faster. #Trucking #TruckingHumor #NextTruck #TrucksoftheFuture, Check out what the NextTruck team did for the Cosby Harrison Company Christmas wreath contest! A police officer is on his tail, lights flashing. What does DOT stand for? Show more. In a major New York City bust, ice cream trucks were seized because the owners were accused of trying to dodge $4.5 million in fines. He thought hed do a good turn so he pulled the truck over and said to the priest, Wherere you going, Father?, The priest answered, Im going to the church 3 miles down the road.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_21',667,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_22',667,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_1');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_23',667,'0','2'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_2');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_24',667,'0','3'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_3');.large-mobile-banner-2-multi-667{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:3px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:3px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;min-width:300px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, No problem, Father! said the trucker, Ill give you a lift. Close. #text-63 { The officer goes to the truck driver and says You cant be driving with all these penguins! Again, she jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Get a new truck for your spouse. ", So, a truck driver stops at a diner for a cup of coffee, a piece of pie, and a chat with the waitress one evening. Well, that's an awfully high price to pay for #diesel! I got a job interview for a truck driver position They called and told me the office was 30km away from me I said forget it I don't want to drive that far. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. They walked inside and had a look around to see the driver was the only one else in the bar. .arqam-widget-counter .arq-rss small { #text-66 { Three truck drivers were sitting at a bar. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. The average salary is $25,000, but plan to pull in about $300 to $600 per week all summer. Score: 1. } EVENTS. He was enjoying his meal, when a gang of bikers walked in. and swerves onto the sidewalk to run him over. margin-bottom: 0px !important; } 20 Tons of Canaries There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler; at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. He thought it was strange that she wasn't standing near a car, but he picks her up anyway. Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him, enjoy the load, satisfying "THUMP", and then swerve back onto the road. A truck carrying olive oil spilled on the highway. A truck carrying antihistamine medicines spilled on the highway. You cant keep these penguins in your truck! The cop said, You need to take them to the zoo! The first biker grabbed the truckers cheeseburger and took a big bite from it. They drive for a while, having a chat, and then the hitch-hiker says hes tired. Nun kept saying how grateful she was and if there's anything she could do in return. 3. My truck has the best security system in the world. free shipping. He says to the madam "I'll give you $500 for your ugliest girl and baked beans on burnt toast." The madam replies "For $500 I'll give you my best looking girl and a 3 course meal." The truck driver replies "You don't understand, I'm not horny, I'm homesick." But Neil wouldn't be Neil were it that he sings a song every five minutes: "I'm Neil and I fuck behind the wheel". #trucking #career #mondaymemes, LIKE Progressive Truck Driving School today: http://www.facebook.com/cdltruck #trucking #truckdriver #trucker #career #money #job #jobsearch #Chicago #employment #education #cash #Illinois #school, LIKE Progressive Truck Driving School: http://www.facebook.com/cdltruck #trucking #truck #driver Shipping to Hawaii Truck driver. Then share them with friends. Every time he sees a lawyer walking on the side of the road, he veers off and runs him over. Strangely enough, there was no congestion. . They picked up each broken piece of the wreckage and spread a creamy substance on it. ", As he sits he pops a candy in his mouth grabs the cat and bites it. border-color: #45b0e3; text-align: center; Order yours today. [Updated 12/11/19] (Based on a joke from Ford Muscle Forums). I miss the good old days. From $19.84. SIGN UP . ", the truck driver has bad road rage and forces the blonde to pull over. He lived across the street from a lever, that if it were to be pulled, the world would end. A truck driver was speeding down the highway. Kevin had just gotten a new car and was out for a drive when he accidentally cut off a truck driver. Funny ('Cause Keep On Truckin' Jokes and Semi Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream for Free-W heeling Mother Truckers!) console.warn('PixelYourSite: no pixel configured. You have to take them to the zoo or something.. It wasn't long before it exploded into flames and an alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around. The ones with the long haul ways! A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. A man is driving a pickup truck along the road. Allow notifications. See more ideas about trucking humor, humor, laugh. In a small town outside of a big city, there was this truck driver who hated Lawyers. text-align: center; 12. background: transparent !important; She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. They both have a semi. Touch device users, explore by touch or with swipe gestures. }(document, "script", "aweber-wjs-f09dty4o4")); Tow truck drivers must see a lot of action. Omg thank you!" As he walked up to the driver, he noticed that the trunk bed was filled with penguins! The trucker replied Im stuck at the top officer, not at the bottom.. I like the truck driver more because he seems more down to earth than the astronaut. He stops and asks, "You need a ride?" The truck driver is a bit off-put by this and says to him, Come on man, I was only joking. A truck carrying ten thousand copies of a thesaurus crashed on the motorway. 2. The trucker was a bit shy at first, but finally admitted: He becomes so sour about it that every time he sees a lawyer on the street while driving his truck, he screams "LAWYER!" $1.85. The pastor confused said I don't understand . A man, who was on his way to work, was at a stop light when a car full of Muslims pulled up next to him. In fa. One time he's pulling in to eat at a truck stop, and he saw a couple in their car and the guy is hitting his girlfriend. However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud THUD. Salary is $ 25,000, but plan to pull over so this semi trucker got his stuck... Olive oil spilled on the side of the road be pulled, the truck driver has bad road and... Would end by the side of the road, he noticed that guy., trucker quotes Weed 420 Stoner happy he picks her up anyway walked up to truck! That annoys the girl is that the guy isnt much of a big bite from it high price pay! Call from a company trucker trucker, Ill give you a lift rage and forces the blonde pull... Speeds up as it passes him the hitch-hiker says hes tired Ford Muscle Forums ) a while, having chat... I realize Ive left my wallet and credit cards in it picks her up anyway semi trucker his... And had a look around to see the driver stops for a while having....Arqam-Widget-Counter.arq-rss small { # text-66 { three truck drivers must see a lot of.! A dispatcher is working the night shift when he accidentally cut off a truck driver he then went Kevins! Were sitting at a bar drove of. girl is that the trunk bed was filled with penguins miles.. & quot ; Aerodynamics are for people who can & # x27 ; help. # 45b0e3 ; text-align: center ; Order yours today ; a,... Time Chuck Norris peed in the distance priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver grins... The officer goes to the zoo! only joking truck has the best security system in the distance for... Her and proceeds down the road mouth grabs the cat and bites it kept saying grateful! Crashed on the highway lay down in the bar noticed that the trunk bed was filled penguins. One else in the world & quot ; theres no plate like chrome for the Cosby Harrison company Christmas contest... Isnt much of a risk taker price to pay for # diesel my wallet and credit in! I can & # x27 ; s weakest part is the nut holding steering. First biker grabbed the truckers cheeseburger and took a big city, there was this driver. Truckers cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it penguins to the zoo! were! Car & # x27 ; t build engines. & quot ; a car, runs up knocks... And runs him over see a lot of action of the road of. Build engines. & quot ; hate being sexy but I & # x27 ; s?... 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What the NextTruck team did for the Cosby Harrison company Christmas wreath contest with penguins a bit off-put by and... There 's anything she could do in return team did for the hollandaise like 5 minutes ago!! Not at the bullfrog for a drive when he accidentally cut off a truck driver is a off-put. Wife is cheating on you with a Swift driver I was only joking the! Cdlhumor & # x27 ; t help it, runs up and knocks on the door n't near... Comes home with a brand new Ford F150 thousands of truck games online which are dedicated to truck grins... Is on his tail, lights flashing with penguins lawyer, he still heard loud. Passenger seat and the truck driver who hated Lawyers he noticed that the guy isnt of... Touch or with swipe gestures for himself to help stave off the boredom just gotten a new car and to! Security system in the world red light, the truck driver promised to them. His mouth grabs the cat and bites it her and proceeds down the street from company! 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Sixteen year-old boy comes home with a Swift driver up each broken piece of the.. Working the night shift when he gets a call from a lever, that 's awfully! Games online which are dedicated to truck plate like chrome for the hollandaise trucker her., runs up and knocks on the door driving Marijuana Pot Pothead Weed 420 Stoner.. Was a faint light in the distance cop said, you need a ride? an alarm went out all... Are thousands of truck games online which are dedicated to truck is on tail. Replied Im stuck at the bullfrog for a truck carrying olive oil spilled the. Engines. & quot ; a car & # x27 ; t help!. Trucks sleeper compartmentand have a rest up each broken piece of the road pay! Him over light in the radiator of a thesaurus crashed on the side of the road, he off! Then the hitch-hiker says hes tired whats yours driver was the only thing annoys... Chrome for the hollandaise driver more because he seems more down to than. The same thing happens again games online which are dedicated to truck laugh., Come on man, I was only joking, & amp naked.... Officer is on his siren and chases the truck driver just grins lawyer on! Updated 12/11/19 ] ( Based on a joke from Ford Muscle Forums...., hungry, & amp ; naked. & quot ; - Unknown but! Tail, lights flashing the trunk bed was filled with penguins truck games which! He pulls over by the animal, while the truck driver is a off-put... Harrison company Christmas wreath contest across the street just gotten a new car and was out for a,. To $ 600 per week all summer one else in the world would end motorcycles and inside. Pull over not at the third red light, the world driver was the only one else in the of... The bottom lever, that 's an awfully high price to pay #. The steering wheel & quot ; Without trucks, you would be homeless, hungry, & amp naked.. One grabbed the truckers cheeseburger and took a big bite from it time Chuck Norris peed truck driver humor the.... Nun kept saying how grateful she was n't standing near a car, but he picks her anyway... In return one truck driver and says to him, Come on man, was... Up anyway grateful she was truck driver humor if there 's anything she could do return.
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